My thoughts on Our Love
FIRST Gary Chose me!!!! He chose ME! A gangly almost 22 year
old with a 2 year old! So I guess he chose US!
Considering I am writing this 20 years later I think we have done
amazingly well! Our life together has been the wildest of roller coaster rides
with amazing peaks and some devastating valleys. We have buried 2 parents.
Traveled the world with our epileptic son and angry daughter.
It is a challenge every day to be married! It is a choice!
And a good choice for us.
What is hard?
Well I always feel I
am in a holding pattern. You see Gary is in the movie industry and he is either
away working and I am waiting for him to come home or he is here and we are
waiting for the call that says he will be leaving. Either way it is HARD! I spend months alone with
our son and daughter, figuring out their lives, my life, our household, only
for Gary to return and adjust to him not living in hotel room by himself and me
not being in charge of EVERYTHING. You
see it is a compromise and a sacrifice, our love! He loves me! I love him! He chose me! I chose
him back! He is not my best friend he is my anchor and I am his! He is my lover
and I am his!
Our relationship is an ongoing adjustment. Where we are
going, what we are doing but our love and support of each other has never faltered.
We do not have a conventional relationship! Nothing about it
is Normal. Our 20 yr. age gap. Me having a 2 yr. old that he has treated as his
own since day 1. We dated 3 weeks and he said I was the ONE! I believed him
packed up and moved across the country. I left my house my job my car my family
for a man that declared his love for me from the moment he met me! And He has
declared that same love every day since!
We do not have the same love language! He doesn’t even
believe in them but w/e I do! So I can tell you Gary is not a GIFTER, He
assumes if I want it I WILL go get it! He
is not a WORDS OF AFFIRMATION guy, He assumes I need to take responsibility and
believe in myself! He is not a QUALITY TIME man He assumes we are married and
we live together so….! He is not a PHYSICAL TOUCH man. We got together b/c of
sex we probably stay together b/c of sex. But he doesn't pat my back or comb my hair!
Gary is an ACTS OF SERVICE man! He has been serving me since the minute
I laid eyes on him. He works hard for me. He takes Dane out of my hair for me.
He gives me freedom. He cooks for me. He grocery shops for me. He will do
anything I ask. I just have to ask. Truth be told he will buy me anything I
want I just have to tell him what it is.
So just to be clear! He chose ME and I chose HIM back! It
was not a one-way street there was NO chasing anyone down or making it happen.
Our relationship just is what it is! And after 20 yrs. I think its still
amazing and better than most. Yes it is still very hard but we love each other.
No one is abusive or hateful. No one is cheating, drinking or drugging or
anything damaging to one another. So…
Do I have a man that prays with me goes to church with me?
No. But does he LOVE me and others YES! Is he KIND and sensitive YES! He is
PATIENT YES is he PEACEFUL? YES Is He GOOD? YES! Does he have SELF CONTROL? YES! Is he HUMBLE? YES! Is he GENTLE? YES!
So there you have it.
